I am really unhappy at home.

Woke up and got screamed at by my father cuz i flunked a module in sch. i mean like seriously, u dun have to do such thing one lor.

i cant stand it when he brings out stupid things to say, like he said it was ridiculous of me for asking for a car. oh like come on la, i ask you cuz when my elder brother got his license you got him one right?

and for no reason a few weeks ago he shouted at me saying "i will not send you overseas to study no matter what". i mean like, ok i dont even wanna go overseas to study cuz my friends n family are here. i just feel unfair that he said this kinda thing to me. my brother got sent overseas what, and also bought him a car there. i got accepted into Queens, Lanchester and TISCH. but im not going cuz my dad said no.

I KNOW RIGHT.

dont tell me life is fair. life's a bitch when your dad is like that.

many of you think im spoilt. but you have no idea how hard i have been working. i train so hard to achieve, keep getting myself injured training. i dont wanna keep taking extra money from my parents, thats why i went to work. i work 2 jobs, giving tuition to 2 kids and at NUM.

Everyday after school its tuition or training or num. sometimes, its sch-training-tuition. you have no idea how tired it is, and having to be home to complete your assignments.

i just feel that my dad should look through me and try to understand me more, than just think that im a good for nothing brat. seeing my brother n sister getting all these just makes me wonder am i his real son. i know i sound so bad, but what i am mentioning here is just an understatement.

my brother is like his golden child, he gets anything and everything. even i give up asking.

there was once when my brother got this stupid disgusting lying girlfriend and create alot of disputes at home for us. she came to my sch to take the numbers of all my friends (with my sister, i mean like why the fuck is my sister so fucking dumb to be an accomplice is such stupid fucking lame activity) and i quarrelled with her very badly. she even came to church and demanded to see Pastor Kong. i was like, seriously who do you think you are. and after we quarrelled, she broke up with my brother. my brother was damn angry with me that he violently knock down my door and threaten to punch me.

when my dad came home, he hit me with a belt, punched me and held my head with his hands grabbing my hair and threw it towards the wall. my ear went deaf for a few days. all because i quarrelled with that stupid girlfriend of my brother and obviously i won so she used her trump card- breaking up with my brother.

my brother was a dumb fuck at that point of time, my dad is a even bigger dumb fuck to be siding my brother.

the only sane person in the family is my mother. the one who loves all of us equally. she's not very supportive of anything i have to say, but she does things fairly and cares for us alot.

i really love my mother alot. father, well... he just made me hated him. i have to say i always have been just that i try to forgive and forget (well its not possible, im not harry potter). and because of my father i hate my brother too.

we look like one happy family, ya thats because your son here is like a bloody professional actor?

i really dont know what to say/ do anymore. i just feel like moving out.

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